Texas musician Sara Hickman once said in concert, after she became a parent, that sometimes she only had time to shave one leg while in the shower.  Boy, could I relate, as I'm sure many women in that audience could.  When your kids are little, you're rushing through your showers because either a.) they're sitting in their carseat in the bathroom and you don't want to take too long or they'll start wailing or b.) they're too big for a carseat so you're worried they're killing themselves and/or wrecking the house while you're trying to enjoy a Calgon moment. And when they get older, you're rushing through that shower because there seems to be so much more going on in your schedule, even if, like us, you've cut back.

Especially in May.  May is "hell month" for most parents because all your kids' activities come screeching to a climactic end all at once, in a flurry of band concerts, dance recitals, final exams, choir shows, sports picnics, Scout banquets, preschool graduations, kindergarten graduations, 6th grade graduations, 8th grade graduations, (wasn't there a really important graduation at one time?) Oh yeah, high school graduations, college graduations, teacher appreciation luncheons, end-of-year field trips, honors breakfasts, art exhibits, awards assemblies, library book turn-in, textbook turn-in, "Parent's Day" at the gym, Field Day, and "last-day-of-school" parties.  Oh, and if your last name ends in A, bring a dessert to the sports picnic.  And donuts to the honors breakfast.  And fried chicken to the Scout banquet.  And a salad for the teacher appreciation luncheon. And bottled water to the Last Day of School party.  And while you're at it, could you round up some beads, string, glue, construction paper, and brown grocery sacks for Field Day?

I'm out of breath. We still have school until June 4th.  And I hardly have time to shave one leg, let alone two.

As a result of the busy-ness that is often my life, I find myself thinking about the original book, Cheaper By The Dozen. Ever read that? It's the humorous true story of husband-and- wife "efficiency experts" (I think they're called Industrial Engineers today) and how they practiced their theories/methods at home with their large brood, whether it was how their 12 kids could brush their teeth faster or the most efficient way to dry off after a bath-- no wasted motions!  I wish the most recent cinematic "re-make" of that book had looked something like it, but I think the only thing it shared was the title and the size of the family.  Pity.  I think time/motion study is fascinating, and I've tried a few shortcuts of my own (in addition to the one-leg-shave).   See, here I go again-- domestic engineering.  While I don't Velcro my makeup to my car's dashboard anymore (seriously, I did that when I was single and had a commute down a long street with about a billion stoplights...), I have been perfecting the art of the fast get-ready down to a science.  For anyone who needs help in these crazy times, I offer my latest "recipe":

Supplies:
Rubber or terry flip flops
Terry "spa" bathrobe
"Aquis" towel (or a Sham Wow!)
Shampoo (or a 3-in-1 shampoo, body wash and conditioner, or use spray-on conditioner later)
A shower clock
The hottest, fastest hair dryer you can buy

1.Have flip flops and terry bathrobe waiting just outside the shower. 
2. Use your shampoo as a body wash (it's okay to do this-- check out this link.)  Or, use one of those 3-in-1 products (they're hard to find at a decent price, unless you're willing to shop in the kids' section and smell like bubble gum or blueberry kiwi sparkle...) The shower clock helps prevent me from losing track of time, of course, which is pretty easy to do in a shower!
3. When you're done, step out of the shower and into your flip flops and bathrobe and use the towel to quickly soak up the water in your hair. Let the bathrobe (if it's the right kind, it acts just like a towel) and flip flops absorb the rest of the drips while you do other things, like lay out your clothes.  Once your body's dry, finish drying your hair with your supercharged hairdryer (and make sure your hairbrush has those "airflow" holes in it). (Just upgrading my hairdryer cut at least 10 minutes off my drying time-- my hair is so thick that a hairdresser once told me, "My wrists can't take all this drying time anymore so I'm having an assistant come do this!" ) 

As for makeup...you can get your eyelashes dyed so you skip the mascara step, but it doesn't last very long. Better yet, you can now get "dermagraphics" (basically tattooed makeup) for eyebrow color, eyeliner, eyelashes, lip lines, and full lip color.  Here's what americanhealthandbeauty.com has to say about it, an online magazine and cosmetic surgery listing service: "Because of the nature of the permanent cosmetics procedure, some patients may experience some discomfort according to their pain tolerance."  To me, roughly translated, that means "If you thought childbirth was painful, that pales in comparison." I think I'll just try to get outside and get a little sun.  Probably a lot more healthy, cheaper-- and faster!