Animal therapy is a wondrous thing. Horse programs that assist kids and adults with physical and learning disabilities. Cats that help out in nursing homes. Dogs that are trained to assist with an enormous amount of conditions, from blindness and deafness to Alzheimer’s Disease and peanut allergies—and those in prison programs that dramatically change the lives of hard-core criminals. I think another group that can be blessed by animal therapy is moms of pre-teens and teens, at least those who have no more young children at home. We got our dog 2 ½ years ago and the timing couldn’t have been better.
I mean, think about it. Most young children shower Mom with unconditional love and acceptance and don’t mind being cuddled relentlessly. The maternal side of Mom is nurtured and rewarded…when my kids were babies, I remember how they’d light up when I came into their room to greet them in the morning. They’d be sitting in their cribs and would say “Mommy!” and have the hugest smiles on their faces when they’d see me… I felt like a rock star. Fast forward to early elementary school. When my oldest would see me after school, walking up the sidewalk to get her as she waited with her class on the school’s front porch, she’d run to me with open arms and another huge smile, shouting “Mommy!” My younger daughter would be so excited when I’d meet her for lunch in the school cafeteria, she’d jump up and down as she waited in the lunch line, and we’d get to sit at the special “Visitor’s Table”. I still felt like a rock star…but as any experienced parent knows, the admiration of Mom changes. And while I know it’s normal and healthy and has to do with forming their own identity and distancing themselves from their “youth” and becoming more independent, the maternal part of a mom doesn’t change, and the rejection hurts. It’s like the late comedian Sam Kinison used to say (er, scream) in one of his routines, “WHY DON’T YOU JUST REACH INTO MY CHEST AND RIP MY HEART OUT RIGHT NOW???!!!”
The other day, I was up at the elementary school for a meeting and it finished right at lunchtime. I thought I’d pop into the school cafeteria (I hadn’t been there for lunch in a long time) to surprise my tween. As I made my way across the crowded lunchroom, I didn’t see her sitting with her friends. They were giggling. “She’s hiding under the table,” they said. “She’s embarrassed you’re here.” (Ouch!)
Last week, after she and I ordered special gymnastic team T-shirts to commemorate the state meet, she informed me that we’d better be careful not to wear them on the same day. (Ow!)
Monday, as I dropped my teen off at high school, I had to run in to pick up something that another parent had left for me at the front desk. “You’d better not walk in at the same time as me!” she instructed me as we pulled up. (Rip!)
Today, as she watched TV and ate breakfast (a rare occurance on a school day but allowed this morning since she didn’t have to report to school until 1 p.m.), I walked through the living room and paused and started watching, too (after all, it was American Idol) and as soon as she realized what was happening, she said, “Please leave the room.”(Geez!)
I know, she wanted to watch by herself without me asking a bunch of questions (like, “Do you know that song?” and “How do you pronounce Siobhan?”) but it still hurt.
So, I just go hug and cuddle my sweet dog. I hug him a lot. He licks my hand and wags his tail, and I feel like a rock star.