I’ve been thinking that the joke about “people texting each other inside the same house” might not be such a
bad idea. Or carrying around a white board. Or sticking notes in lunch bags. According to a study released last week from Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital, 1 in 5 teens now has at
least a slight hearing loss, due possibly to iPod volume. The study, conducted with almost 5,000 kids, showed slight hearing loss increasing in the past 15 years, …
Category: Humor
Odd Mom Out: When Your Kids Don’t Resemble You…At All
I carried them for nine months and nursed them for at least as long; went through morning sickness, nausea, a C-section, VBAC, migraine headaches, and major sleep loss for them; got carpal tunnel
syndrome and had to completely change my wardrobe —you’d think my kids could at least look like me …
Parents and Movies: Hopelessly Forgetful
The re-release of the movie, “Grease” in “Sing-A-Long” version this month has reminded me of something a parent
recounted to me not long ago: She’d been all excited about showing her kids the original “Grease” but when she watched it with them, she was embarrassed that she’d forgotten about all the sexual
references. Oops. You can bet with the song lyrics now plastered onto it, it’s going to be even more embarrassing for forgetful parents! J
…
My Car is the Betty White of Minivans
Recently my husband and I had a conversation about buying a new car for me. I didn’t get my hopes up, rightfully so, because it didn’t take long for him to say, “You know, for about $300, I think I can keep your car running another year and then we can get a new one.” Umm, that’s what he said last year. And I’m pretty sure the year before that as well… For someone who’s not “into” cars, Andy is a self-taught, amazingly crack mechanic in his spare time who has definitely saved us thousands of dollars and kept my car going year after year (after year). Not only does he like saving money, he gets a lot of satisfaction out of researching and solving problems, and I think he also likes “telling the guys”, like some guys brag about the big fish they caught, or the amazing golf putt they sank.
Yes, I do drive a 1997 Dodge Grand aravan with 184,208 miles on it. (That’s right—aravan. It was once a Caravan, but one day last year when I didn’t pull in far enough in the garage, the automatic garage door scraped off the “C” as it was closing.)
Punch-drunk on Punch Cards
The main zipper on my favorite (and only) wallet jumped the tracks the other day, and I think
I know why: too many punch cards. Nope, it’s not too many credit cards (and certainly not cash) that
have caused my favorite brown leather four-compartment wallet to bulge at the seams—it’s those darn punch cards and reward cards that every place of business seems to be giving me these days.
Scenes From A School Talent Show
Just like a 4th of July Parade or apple pie, nothing is more “slice of Americana” than
an elementary school talent show, eh? Kids in egg costumes singing a hard rock/rap version of Humpty Dumpty; a boy on piano plinking out “Axel F”; teachers tap dancing; three sisters in red
lipstick singing The Star Spangled Banner…Last weekend, Andy and I coordinated the mechanics of our elementary school’s talent show for the first time. …
The Parental Power in Being a Bookworm
You’ve heard that some people become a better parent by reading parenting books, but here’s another
thought—have you ever considered that reading any book (or magazine or newspaper) helps with parenting? No, I’m not talking about the old adage, “Be a reader and your kids will be one, too”
although I think that’s true. I’m talking about the fact that being “into” reading can help you calmly get through some “trying” times that would make
some Moms …
Life-By-T-Shirt
I think a historian or sociologist of the future will be able to tell a lot about the teens in our current society simply by reading their T-shirts. Oh, I
don’t mean the ones with Will Ferrell’s picture that say “More Cowbell” or Jonas Brothers shirts or even the revamped “Have A Nice Day” tie-dyed ones, although those would definitely
add to the picture– I mean the ones that tell what the kids are doing all the time, at any minute. Seriously, …
The (Almond) Joys of Parenting
Ahh, the simple pleasures of being a parent on Halloween– at the end of the evening, we get all the candy rejects our kids don’t want. This year, out of Emmie’s massive collection of 130 pieces of candy, I was given 1 mini Almond Joy, 4 mini boxes of Milk Duds, 2 pieces of banana Laffy Taffy (NOT the strawberry, of course, which I really would have enjoyed), 4 packs of Whoppers malted milk balls, 1 butterscotch candy, 1 peppermint, 1 Rolo, and a mini Heath bar. Not a whole lot to get excited about, but it made me laugh on the inside—this “reject pile” not only looks the same every year for both of my children, it contains the same stuff I rejected when I was a kid. The same stuff about which I always think, “The adult who bought this doesn’t have a clue what most kids like.” For example, most kids don’t like coconut– so Mounds is a perennial reject as well. Ditto for “Dots”, Good ‘N Plenty, “Chick O Stix”, any Tootsie Rolls other than the original flavor, red hot Jawbreakers, and black licorice. While I’ve grown to like most of it, I still scratch my head about some of it, like the Milk Duds.
Yes Days
Our pastor, whose children are grown, was telling those of us in his Sunday School class a couple weeks ago that he used to have “Yes” days with his kids– a day once in awhile where Dad would say yes to every request. “What kinds of things did they ask for?” I asked him. “Oh, it usually involved ice cream,” he said. “We’d go for ice cream a couple of times in one day.”
How fun, I thought, but if I tried that with my kids, I think I’d be broke pretty quick. No, make that, I know I’d be broke pretty …