Have you noticed the latest sign that our great nation is taking yet another step toward being an
“idocracy”? Teens wearing sleepwear. All day, instead of “regular” clothes. I first noticed it last month while shopping at Target—a couple checkout aisles over, a girl and her mom were talking
loudly and getting ready to empty their cart onto the checkout stand. I think the girl had forgotten to get something and was wanting to go back out into the store. She was dressed in full flannel
pajamas, pants and top, with slippers on her feet, and wearing a short winter coat. At first I felt sorry for her. ‘I wonder if she just got checked out of a teen psychiatric ward of a hospital,’
I thought. (Seriously, that’s what I thought!) But then I remembered the fuzzy slipper craze from a few years ago, when kids were wearing that kind of …
Category: Raising Teenagers
Empty Promises: Are We Failing Our Kids By Telling Them They Can “Do It All”?
In January and February, it’s “roll out the red carpet” time here in North Texas for area middle
schools, junior highs and high schools. Which means if you’re entering one of those illustrious institutions next fall, you get to attend a welcome night at said school, and if you
already attend one of those schools and are involved in any extracurricular activity that can “show off” in three minutes or less, you are invited, sometimes required, to be
a part of this welcome. And if you’re a parent of a kid in one of these categories, you attend, too, to sit on gym bleachers and either learn (“Umm, is that a beard and
sideburns I see on that senior?”) or watch your child perform (“Should I wear my photo button?”). Over the past six years that I’ve been attending these dog
…
The Circle of Pride and Embarrassment
While I generally have an “I don’t worry about what people think about me” attitude, it’s funny that when you have kids, you do care about how they “show” in public, in part because you feel like their actions are a reflection of your parenting skills. You wince when they’re young and throw tantrums in Target, pick their nose while walking down the aisle during a wedding ceremony or point a finger at a stranger in a parade and yell out something brutally honest (“That man is HUGE!!”). And you rejoice when they remember to say “Thank you” to Grandma, sing a song perfectly at a recital or run to greet you in front of school with a big hug. I hope I never forget the time when Emmie and I were sitting in a bookstore coffee shop– I was looking through a stack of cookbooks and she was engrossed in one of her Rick Riordan novels, when all of a sudden she looked at me and my books and said, “I am so glad I have a Mom that cooks, and plans out all of our meals, because a lot of people don’t do that very much anymore.” Yes, I about fell off my chair at that sign of appreciation, and yes, the elderly couple walking past our table right at that moment almost dropped their lattes in astonishment, then offered some words of praise to both Emmie and me. It was a proud moment and I think it made that elderly couple happy, too…
The Last Official Day of Being a Kid
Announced the other day by Emmie, the day before her 13th birthday: “Today is my last official day of
being a kid…that’s kind of sad.” I could have said something sage about how “13 is just a number” or “everyone should honor their ‘inner child’ no matter how old they get”, but I didn’t…I
didn’t want to minimize the wiseness of her observation, because it’s true in a way. Plus, the whole concept of a “last official day of being a kid” intrigued me… I thought back to what
I might have been doing on mine…was I dreading another awkward day of 7th grade? (Thanks to the magic of the Internet, I pulled up a ’74 calendar. The day before my
13th birthday was a weekday, a Friday.) Was I lugging my snare drum case down the long flight of stairs to the jr. high band hall, trying not …
Homecoming 101: Short Dresses and Stripper Poles
Some words of advice for parents of high school girls who are going to Homecoming (and this probably
comes too late for most of you since we’re right in the middle of homecoming season): be prepared to spend a lot of time shopping for “just the right dress” if she’s going to the
Homecoming dance, since most of the dressy dresses that have been offered in retail stores for teenage girls over the past several years don’t pass dress code. In a school, that is. Or
probably by your own standards as well. But they’d fit right in at a “gentleman’s club”!
I remember being amazed two years ago during Allison’s freshman year how so many dresses she tried on were so short, they didn’t pass when she stood up straight, arms hanging down at her
sides to do the fingertip test– school dress code …
Teens and Interpersonal Communication: Not Very Personal Anymore
I’ve been thinking lately about the “lost arts of communication” that are becoming almost extinct among our nation’s youth.
The most obvious, that has been going downhill for many years, is handwriting of course, both print and cursive, as our kids are asked to turn in school papers almost exclusively printed by a
computer once they get into middle school/junior high. They don’t write letters to cousins or “pen pals” anymore– a Facebook message will do just fine, and even summer camps have computers now.
E-cards have replaced birthday cards, e-vites have replaced invitations…so when they do get the chance to use their handwriting, it doesn’t look that great– most elementary schools these days find
little room in their curriculum for perfecting printing or cursive. (I actually took Allison to a couple of private handwriting classes when she was in 6th grade, I was so concerned at what I was
seeing– it helped a little.)
Dallas …
The Texas Teen Driver Written Test: Could You Pass?
My 16-year-old finally got her learner’s permit the other day, taking over six months to finally complete the 6 hours of required online
reading she had to do before applying (remember, we’re doing “parent taught”). Based on the guidelines from the course we purchased, and the TX Dept. of Public Safety’s online instructions for
getting a driver’s license, I told her she wouldn’t have to take a written test until she actually applied for a license, and a driving test then, too. Luckily, two days before we were to go in
to apply for the permit, I found out, from another mom, that I was wrong.The written test was required for the permit. “But it probably won’t be a big deal,” I told her. I
couldn’t imagine they’d make it hard on someone who is just getting started learning to drive, who hasn’t even been …
A Tale of Two Phones
Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone today? Can I get my phone
today???
More than we heard, “Are we there yet?” on our recent road trips, the question/pleading/mantra/broken record of “Can I get my phone today?” has been
heard daily around our house, and in stereo, since Cleo went back to France on Monday. We were able to get a new, free phone from our cell phone plan when Cleo arrived last summer
(she paid us monthly for calls/texting), and both Emmie and Allison were hoping it might become theirs when she left. Emmie has never had her …
Hard To Say Good Bye, But Worth the Pain
Our exchange student begins her journey home today after living with us for the past 10 months. It’s hard to believe that
this day, that once seemed so far away, is here. It’s been a bittersweet last few days as we’ve all seen it looming larger and larger on the horizon…I cried in the car on
Saturday, Emmie cried last week, Cleo cried yesterday…we all cried today. Cleo doesn’t want to leave and we don’t want her to leave, but she must, and so we have to learn
how to deal with this new kind of loss, new for all of us. We’re saying good-bye to a daughter, a sister, and a friend. Not gone forever, but gone from
our everyday life, gone from our family dynamic, and so very far away.
Earlier …
From Setbacks to Comebacks: Helping Teens Deal With Disappointment
All over town this past couple of weeks, you could almost hear the cries, sometimes simultaneously, sometimes
staggered. Cries of joy and cries of pain, as teens from area high schools looked at posted “results” and found out if they made it into next year’s school teams/groups/leadership
positions—cheerleading squads, “elite” bands, the co-ed western dance team… drum majors, drill team officers, club presidents…and the cries weren’t just from the kids. Parents cried, too. “When we
found out she didn’t make it, we both boo-hooed together,” said one mom. “I’d put so much effort into driving her to extra practices, and doing whatever else she needed me to do to help, that I
felt like I’d lost, too.” I could relate. When I found out Allison wasn’t on a particular list (while using the browser on my phone in the grocery store check-out line) I almost dropped my
bag of green …