Remember that school field trip I recently said I would be attending as a chaperone? Here’s an adaptation of a post I made about it at, a community website/blogsite of the Dallas Morning News. But beware, ye who blush easily- this is the “uncensored” version.

Ah, nothing like being on a field trip to a museum with a bunch of giggling 4th graders, viewing a bunch of phallic art– and not just at the exhibit.  In fact, I’m not sure where I saw more– on the statues at the Dallas Museum of Art, or drawn all over the seats of the Dallas County school bus on which we rode. Yep, it was a veritable penis party– and notice I’m using the correct anatomical term, as opposed to the slang which had been scrawled on the seats next to the pictures.  In addition to the anatomical “art” and descriptions, there were a whole lot more expletives as well, written in bright (and no doubt permanent) marker. 

If only the rest of the adult chaperones had sat in the back with the kids.  I did, much to the chagrin of my 10-year-old.  But if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have made my discovery. “Mrs. Allbee, there are cuss words back here,” said one sweet-faced boy. “Yes, there are,” I said, sitting down next to him and grimacing as he pointed out each one.  “They should paint these over,” he said.  At first, I thought, why hasn’t that been done, it’s just one seat.  But then, as I looked around,  I noticed that it was on the backs of more seats, and then I noticed drawings and writings not only on the seat backs, but on the fronts and seat cushions of several more– the graffiti seemed to include more than half the seats on the bus.  If they were painted over with fabric paint, they’d probably just get marked up again.

I wondered what younger kids think when they ride this bus.  I can just hear those who are early readers.  “Teacher, what does F-U-C-K-I-N-G  D-I-C-K-S-U-C-K-E-R mean?” I couldn’t help but think of the impression these buses also make on children from other counties– if my memory is correct, other organizations may rent Dallas County school buses for a fee.  Gee, nothing says Welcome to Dallas better than cuss words and phallic drawings, don’t you think? Not only was the bus heavy with graffiti, but many seats looked like they had been ripped into with knifes– metal and stuffing were hanging out of large gaping holes in the torn, forest green vinyl. 

I think they ought to just cover the seats in cheap clear plastic coverings, like people used to put on their car’s seats in the 50’s and 60’s.  When I was a child, I remember my family’s black Chevy had plastic seat covers that were textured all over, sort of nubby. Fun for little hands to touch– but definitely not easy to write on with a marker!! Maybe that would prevent kids from writing on school bus seats, and if they did, the seat covers could easily be replaced.

In the meantime, for the next field trip, I hope they take the train.  Or maybe I’ll just volunteer to drive!



1 thought on “A School Bus “Education”

  1. This story cracked me up. We took our 9 year old autistic son to the Dallas Museum of Art to see the King Tut exhibit. After he ran through the exhibit he and I had about 2 hours to kill before his dad and brother would be through. So what better way to pass the time but see the rest of the museum, right? It was too funny. It didn’t take him long to pick up on the obvious theme. He went up to one stranger and said “Hey, do you see what I see? Penises!”. Fortunately, this stranger was a college aged male who got a kick out my son’s observations. The trip through the museum then became one of adventure as we searched out and found, plenty of penises. What is up with the DMA? Surely there is other art to procure and display. Oh that’s right, they have a lot of abstract rock sculptures, not nearly as entertaining if you are 9.

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